Writing – Day Seven

person typing on typewriter

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RE: Publishing.

Like every Indie before me, I’ve done some major learning, and here’s something that I wish to share with you all.

I was in a panic about publishing. The how, and what’s involved. I had notes that I’d made and advice that I’d collected along the way, but when you know that there will be deadlines involved in your release, well the pressure really begins to build. It’s something that I did to myself – I don’t know if you’ve done it, but I certainly did.

Now this lead me to thinking, how am I ever going to manage this? How am I ever going to manage to publish a book?

That last sentence, really resonated in my head.

I got to thinking – how was I going overcome this. I knew, for me to continue writing, it was something that I was going to eventually have to confront and overcome.

So, I wrote a short story, bought a very cheap off the shelf eBook cover, created another pen name – one that I’m not building a brand around, and loaded it up to Amazon – then pressed PUBLISH.

What I learnt; that it wasn’t that difficult to do. That there was information that I knew about theoretically, but putting it into practise was a different thing entirely. Now I’d kind of guessed that this would occur. But the interesting thing in all of this, was that they were merely small speed humps that I was able to deal with and overcome. Sure, they slowed me down somewhat, but I learned how to overcome them. It wasn’t hard or as difficult as I thought it would be.

I also made step by step notes for when I do publish my brand.

I think the biggest thing that I learned from the whole endeavour was that I could do this thing. That its as hard as you make it, or as easy if you let it be.

That I could do it on a shoestring for the nonce, and pretty everything up down the track, if that’s something that I wanted to do.

The biggest thing that came out of this though was that the exercise took the pressure off.

In the back of my head I’d built up so much pressure on myself without realising I’d done so, that I was beginning to doubt if I was actually capable of it.

The thing I want you to take away from this is, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

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Writing – Day Six

Today isn’t a day that I get to write as a rule. Saturdays are sometimes chaotic, today a case in point.

Sprinting around the house this morning trying to pull some order out of the chaos, and then in the car and off to work. Throw in some cats prior to leaving and you can imagine the chaos in my home. Kitty litter cleaning, feeding, watering not to mention door person extraordinaire – open the door, close the door, rinse and repeat.

Today though, isn’t just any Saturday. We have an event called the Avon Descent. This is an annual weekend event that fills my little town to bursting, and today is that day. So you could say, that the chaos just continued when I left home.

The town is full of cars. There are people walking down the middle of the road wearing hi-vis gear directing traffic and letting people know where there is parking available, and where each of the different events that are on can be located.

For you see we like to do things big here in Toodyay. So we’re also hosting the International Food Festival at the same time.

Why not? I mean people out in the rain and wind like to eat too.

There are cars towing boats, and trucks topped with kayaks – or towing boat trailers and topped with kayak fittings as most of the boats and kayaks are on the Avon River dealing with a fast flowing white and brown water. I say brown, because I’m pretty sure that judging by the colour of the water this year, half the hills have washed into that water. It’s a muddy orange brown – damn, now I want a chocolate orange. *sigh*

I did manage to fill a lunch break in with Chris Fox’ latest YouTube release, How to Make Character Names That Don’t Suck*, which I found very enlightening. I’m always learning from him. I also decided to replay his video The Creative Gap* and I’m so glad that I did.

I have an on again, off again struggle with my writing. It’s not so much that I get that insidious thing called writers block. No, it’s my ability, or lack thereof in my writing. Let me put it to you thus; I look at authors like David & Leigh Eddings, or Mark Dawson, Chris Fox et cetera – and basically think, woe is me, all hope is lost, I will never get a reader, let alone a single review, why oh why am I bothering – then the wailing and back swatching ensues.

Okay, so that last bit was a tad exaggerated. You do get the picture though. I have little, or no belief in my own abilities, and because of this, I also believe that if I don’t believe in my own writing, then why would anyone else, therefore why should I waste my time and everyone else’s.

Let’s face it, there are sooo many books out there, and no chance of reading them all in one lifetime, so why am I bothering.

Then, like I said, I watched Mr Foxs’ The Creative Gap, and he mentioned in there something like..

“Stop worrying in the short-term on how good of a writer you are…Keep learning… The longer we do this, the better we will become… You will be better in a year, than you are now.”

It’s because of people like Chris Fox that I keep going. I keep learning. I keep writing. I keep adding too my current WIP and I don’t give up, no matter how tired I am at plugging away.

So today, I’d like to send out a huge THANK YOU to all fo you out there that keep people like myself from throwing in the towel. It’s because of you that writers like myself continue to carry on in between those uplifting Eureka moments that we have when we write.

*Check out Chris Fox YouTube channel

Writing Day Three

Well, if you read yesterdays blog, then you’ll be more than aware I was dealing with a migraine.

I was still dealing with it this morning. Until this year, I’ve never had migraines last for more than twenty-four hours. I’m wondering what fairy I inadvertently killed without knowing it. Having a migraine for longer than twenty-four hours is not a picnic that I’d give to my worst enemy.

So, much like yesterday, today will also not be a writing day. Which kills me. I had so many fab things I wanted to write yesterday until that headache hit the ‘beyond belief epic’ stratoshere.

I may go in and dabble, but that’s all it will be.

In an aside, I did dream that I was metaphysically trying to save two of Harry Potters friends who were unaware that they were about to be attacked by a zombie-witch (I know, right?), but I couldn’t remember the word for removing them to safety. The only one I could remember, was defenestrate, and I knew that wasn’t right. So I screamed out to Harry, and just kept screaming out his name. Who knows if he answered the call. Did I mention it was a weird dream?

Happy Birthday Girlfriend

Today is my bestie’s birthday. It’s a day that she really doesn’t like. Why? Because her phone rings off the hook and she cannot get anything done.

For most of us, when it’s our birthday, we get congratulatory wishes via parcel post, Facebook, Twitter and the odd card in the mail.  Then, there’s either a meal somewhere at a local restaurant, or a barbecue at home with friends and family.

Unfortunately for my friend, she moved away and lives in a small town in WhoopWhoop* hence the gazillion phone calls.

So I do the usual thing on her birthday. I call her home phone. That rings out. I call her cell. That too rings out. So I send a text.

That’s just sucky. I think I’ll hit Amazon a little later and see if there’s something on there that I can send her that will cheer her up. Sure, it won’t arrive today. But as friends we’re cool like that. It’s not about the gift. It’s about the message it conveys.

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*Not a real place. Australian slang for ‘the middle of nowhere’.

Writing Day Two

In the wee hours…

It was dark, and I awoke with my head in my hands. Head throbbing in the way that makes the world around you cease to exist. I slept again.

Once again with my head in my hands, it was still dark. This went on for awhile. Then I realised, migraine.

Groaning, I rolled over and reached for the open top drawer of my bedside table. Hand pawing everything closest too me, hoping for the touch of encapsulated tablets and the sound that the little crinkly open flaps make when you touch them, heart slowly sinking as I think of the long walk out to the kitchen cabinet. That walk in the dark that would be painful to take.

Surprised when my direst thoughts were interupted by the crinkly sound that I’d given up on, entered my dull brain-pan. Popping two into my hand, I reached for the ever present water bottle, and took only enough to get the tablets down my gullet.

Falling back on the bed, I willed myself to go back to sleep. Willed the tablets to kick-in, ‘please, oh please.’

Wanting desperately to make myself more comfortable, but unwilling to move.

What felt like hours later, I fell back to sleep.

Awake once again, my head thumping, just not as bad as last night. I realise, there’s not much hope for writing today. So I make some notes, and pop on here because, once started, I want to continue.

Here’s yesterdays progress.

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Writing

I read a short burst on Instagram this morning. On writing.

Basically, this author recommended, that to get the creative brain functioning and prepped for writing on her wip each day, she would first write something else. Anything else.

It sounded like good advice. Take the edges off as it were. I kept sailing through Instagram and the thoughts were still burbling at the back of my subconscious.

Eventually, I thought, dang it. I’m going to try that out. So here I sit, writing absolutely nothing of import, just getting the writing side of my brain functioning.

I’d like to attribute this post to her. Sadly, apart from hitting the little heart at the bottom of her post, I didn’t make a note of who said it. I went back and scrolled through, trying to locate it…when I saw a gorgeous cat photo – said cat was sitting on a park bench on what looked to be a foggy morning, wrapped up in a cape and marked #JediCat or something similar. As soon as I hit the heart at the bottom of that photo? I realised that I was about to fall back into the never ending hole that we all know and love to lose time too.

Swiftly, I shut Instagram down.

Made a coffee – Mocha of course, toasted a couple of crumpets – one lemon butter, the other breakfast marmalade, and hot-footed it down to my writing cave.

So yes – lady author, whoever you are, thank you for your advice. I’m taking it.

#FirstMorning #AmWriting #WritersLife

The Cemetery

I love to write. I also love reading, and anything else that provides me with some sort of escapism. It wouldn’t be stepping too far from the truth to say, that I was unique in my family in that way. My family are all doctors, lawyers, judges and the like. I don’t mean to be dismissive of them at all. I respect and admire all of them for what they do on a daily basis. They actually scare me senseless, family or no. But in my family? I’m the odd duck on the pond, or the ugly duck as it were.

Mother once told me that I wasn’t adopted and that I needed to pull my socks up a bit – this was after I’d written an essay at school on where I’d come from. My mother, being the literal being she is, took exception to the piece, even though I tried to explain that it was a piece of fiction only.

For the last few years I’ve been writing on and off. Never serious, just dabbling, doubting my ability – as you do. I’ve taken my bit’s and pieces of work and thrown it in a drawer to be left mouldering. I thought that, unlike wine it wouldn’t age well.

I had no idea at the time, how wrong I was.

You see there’s this rather new and novel way (no pun intended dear reader) for a person who has the time, talent and conviction to obtain all of the assistance that once could only be found in a publishing house, all online. You can actually publish yourself if you have the drive and do the research. It was doing the research that had me end up here, as an acclaimed writer and now published, I can also say author.

Let me go back a bit first though, so you understand where I’m coming from. You see some time ago now I was, what I now term ‘unconventionally’ fired from my longterm position, and fired in a rather spectacular way. I was a loyal employee and believed that I would either retire or die before I left. I was accused of doing something I had not, and found wanting was ‘asked’ to leave. It was such a shock, for not only was I wrongly accused, I had never been fired from a job before. I had received raises, secondments and been head-hunted, but never fired. It was just before Christmas, and my family at the time, relied heavily on my income. It truly was not a good time for either my family or myself.

Approximately one week later, and heavily depressed – it was only a few days before Christmas Day, and for the first time since leaving work, I found myself alone at home. Feeling completely devastated by the circumstances I found myself in, and wallowing in self-pity – something I was unfamiliar with – I did the only thing that would make me happy – I grabbed my iPad, closed my eyes for a minute, and then began to write… the words flowed from me. I wrote a story. I have no idea how long I wrote for, but at the completion of that story, I found myself lighter of heart, and with a sense of satisfaction inside of me. I put the story in a drawer and within fifteen minutes my home was inundated with loved ones, and the story itself was completely forgotten.

Until about two weeks later when I was cleaning.

It was a lovely sunny day, and I’d been cleaning house for most of the morning, and decided that I needed a break. I grabbed my iPad and made myself a cuppa. I took my cup outside into our sunny courtyard, where I sat and browsed through my iPad.

I spotted the story I’d written, stunned that I could have forgotten it in such a short time.

I started to read.

I can remember my daughter Brianna finding me there sometime later. It truly was a beautiful day. I can also clearly remember how stunned I was, and that I could not have possibly written what I had just read – only I knew that I had. Brie asked me what ever was the matter with me, with a smile on her face and in her voice. I looked at her for a minute, and she said quite clearly too me, “Mum, you’re scaring me now. What is it?”

“Nothing, baby-girl. Just something I just read. Would you like a cuppa? I’m just about to make myself a fresh one.”
“I’d love one Mum.”
“Fine, how about you have a seat here, I’ll make us both a cuppa and be back in a minute. Oh, have a read of this. I want to know what you think of it.”
“Do I have too?”
“No,” I laughed, “of course you don’t. But I think you might like it, and as I said, I’d like your opinion. It’s just there, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Grabbing my cup, I went back into the kitchen. I joined Brie in the courtyard where she was avidly devouring my words. It made me smile.

I sat there with the sun shinning, enjoying my cuppa and waited.

“Oh my God Mum, this is fantastic,” she said. “Who’s the author, what’s the name of the book, I really want to read it.”

I sat there, I’m sure, with my mouth open, and then I gave a short laugh.

“What do you mean who’s the author. You know who wrote it!” I declared. It was at this point that I thought that having given her my iPad to read it on was perhaps not the best idea, as obviously she had cotton’ed on to the fact that I had, in fact, written it myself. I thought my girl was playing with me. How little did I know.

“Seriously Mum, who wrote it?”

Once again I just stared at her, for once completely at a loss for words. slowly contemplating the idea that perhaps she didn’t know.

“Mum?” I could tell my baby was now beginning to get annoyed with me, and the idea crept into my head that perhaps she truly didn’t realise that I had written it.

“You mean you really don’t know?” I asked.

“Now why would I ask if I knew?” she said clearly irritated.

Fair enough, I thought. Well here goes nothing. “Umm, I wrote it Brie.”

“You what?”

“I wrote it.” Once again that big grin of mine just plastered it across my face, because all of a sudden I realised, my girl had just confirmed that what I had read, was every bit as good as I thought it was.

For the next hour, there was much discussion held in our courtyard.

Suffice to say after that my husband read it, then my sister-in-law, my best friend and, well it took a fair amount of convincing, but eventually I began to realise that truly, I had nothing to lose. I just had to get it out there for others to read, a quote that I stole from my daughter by the way.

Seriously, I do believe in the end I published it just to stop my family and friends from harassing me.

I was lucky that I had been born of an age where information on publishing was only a click away. I did much research over the next few months all the while, honing my story and craft. I had nothing else to do, so I figured why not. In doing my research I realised one very pertinent fact, that I had access to millions upon millions of people. All I had to do was locate a beta team to read the manuscript objectively, an editor (because during that period I discovered I can edit others works, but not my own), an artist to make the beautiful cover that you’ve seen on my novel, and the most marvelous piece of research of all? I came across the most fascinating piece of information that effected me personally – that an ancestor of mine who passed away in 1849 and who, yes was a doctor, was also a published writer of that time in the west.

The artist in me no longer felt alone within the family.

I was lucky enough to visit him this time last year not long after I discovered his existence. I am rather a tactile person, and really felt the need to connect with him. I took with me flowers from my garden which I placed upon his grave in thanks. For his very existence as a writer in the family before me, gave me the final impetuous that I needed. It gave me faith at the time that was much needed, and today I was back to thank my ancestor for the faith and hope he had given me, and to share with him and celebrate my hitting the number one spot on Amazon for my genre. True, there were other people in my family that had helped me get here. But this family member deserved more from me than a mere thought.

I removed the dusty and now pale flowers that I’d placed on his grave last year, and replaced them with a fresh bunch of flowers – once again from my garden. He knew I was there, I could feel it. He also knew I’d be back again next year… for I knew now that there would be other stories to tell him about, and I knew he would appreciate being included in the family once again.

Family, and those that inspire us should never be forgotten.

The End.